Friday, January 18, 2013

Misery Loves Company

So things haven't been so great for me lately. I am stressed about work, J and I broke up and I have just felt very alone the past few weeks.

When it comes to work, I know I am fortunate to not only have a job, but one that I enjoy.  The frustrations and the stress would come with any position.  A good friend told me this week "it's not about winning, it's about finding a solution" I am going to adopt this as my new work motto.  I have been in this position for just about 3 years and I know I still feel the need to "prove" myself.  But some fights are just not fighting and I am going to focus on the solutions and not so much as how we get there.  Hopefully with this new attitude, I won't feel the stress.

J and I broke up just before Christmas, though we are still talking.  We are in this grey area somewhere between a relationship and a friendship I guess.  It's weird and I just don't know what to make of it.  Fact is if we weren't talking, I would feel even more alone.

That brings me to the title of this post - company.  I was sent this picture of the cutest little lab mix puppy that is currently being fostered and will be up for adoption this Sunday at the SPCA.  I have wanted a pup for a long time.  This is not a rash decision.  The thing is I travel for work quite a bit.  I would need help while I am away.  My parents had to put our family dog down this summer.  We had Brooks for 13 years and he was a great dog and part of our family.  I know my dad doesn't want another dog but Lexi would be mine, they would just be helping. But they said no.  And it sucks that at 31, I can't do this on my own.  I am torn, I would love to meet this beautiful girl, but don't know that I could walk away if I did.

When you are younger, you always think you will know how your life will go.  Then when things don't go as you planned it is hard to let that go.  But I have made the decision that I will be happy.  I am done being miserable.  Let's hope I am turning a corner here...I'll keep you posted.

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